Horngry
Scream your primary fucking emotional need at this fucking telephone number and have it solved with consumer goods and services.
610-724-6459
MASH YOUR FAT FINGER ON THE SCREEN to this number now to get started.
Msg&data rates may apply
How It Works
We have trained councilers and salesreps standing by 24/7 to answer every single one of your possible fucking needs. Send us a text message in all caps, and we'll divine a way to solve all your fucking problems with consumer products and services. We'll order what you need from the appropriate service (e.g. Instacart, Eros, GrubHub, Grindr, Silk Road, etc.), and deal with them so you just automatically get what you want, like fucking goddamn magic...
Examples
FAQ
Q: ME HUNGRY
We know that feeling. There's a pizza headed your way, champ!
Q: HNGRYH MNOW
Sounds like somebody's got the drunchies! Don't worry, we've sent over 12 bags of Doritos and called your ex-girlfriend multiple times.
Q: POOR NO MONEY
Ooof, too bad! Don't worry, we've taken out a high-interest loan in your name and sent over 24 cans of Bud Light® Clamato!
Q: CCOKDL SICC SHAKY
Jonesin' for skag? No problemo - 12 bags of Mexico's finest black tar, headed your way!
Q: Where is Horngry available in my area?
Fucking never.
We know that feeling. There's a pizza headed your way, champ!
Q: HNGRYH MNOW
Sounds like somebody's got the drunchies! Don't worry, we've sent over 12 bags of Doritos and called your ex-girlfriend multiple times.
Q: POOR NO MONEY
Ooof, too bad! Don't worry, we've taken out a high-interest loan in your name and sent over 24 cans of Bud Light® Clamato!
Q: CCOKDL SICC SHAKY
Jonesin' for skag? No problemo - 12 bags of Mexico's finest black tar, headed your way!
Q: Where is Horngry available in my area?
Fucking never.
Text Horngry now to get started:
610-724-6459
MASH YOUR FAT FINGER ON THE SCREEN to this number now to get started.
Msg&data rates may apply